I’m with Coco.

I love Conan. This stuff with NBC is depressing. (*edit – When I say depressing, I don’t mean on any sort of real scale. The guy is still worth millions and could never work again in his life. It is depressing in the way that he seems like a genuinely nice guy who really wanted that job as it was intended.)

His statement he made yesterday is below.

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over “The Tonight Show” in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004, I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my “Tonight Show” in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the “Tonight Show” to 12:05 to accommodate the “Jay Leno Show” at 11:35. For 60 years, the “Tonight Show” has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the “Tonight Show” into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The “Tonight Show” at 12:05 simply isn’t the “Tonight Show.” Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the “Late Night” show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard, and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of “The Tonight Show.” But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet, a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the “Tonight Show,” I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

Wild Things

I haven’t bought any toys in a long long time (3+ years), however, when I did I got made fun of a bit. Mainly from my friends who thought it was stupid to buy these things and leave them unopened. I have about 100 unopened toys that I got in the past 10 years. Most of them are MOTU, but there are others as well.

But my revenge is now ridiculously sweet. The new Where the Wild Things Are movie is coming out this month and the price of the McFarlane line of figures that were put out sometime when I was in college has shot up to somewhere between $350 and $450 for the set MIB (mint in box…nerds) on Ebay.

Here are some crappy cell phone pics of my set.

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6 boxes to a set, 7 figures total. $10 bucks for each box. That means I turned that $60 investment into $400 or 566% ROI. My 2 year ROI on my 401k is -26%. I should have been dumping money into toys for years.

Annie Are You OK?

Jackson had a ton of problems in his life, but he made some very good music. Smooth Criminal blows my mind everytime I see a video for it. I think they next time I am at the bank or the grocery store I might just do that lean at a 45 degree angle move just for the hey of it.

Attack of the Lorikeets

Here is the video from the Nashville Zoo of Jennie being brutely attacked by a lorikeet. Watch at your own risk.

Ignore the dorky voice in the background asking questions.

Also photos of our weekend have been uploaded.

Done!

Finally! I don’t know what I got on this last final, but I know it was good enough to get a B in the class, which is fine with me.

This “journey” has taken for-frickin-ever. So starting in 1st grade, I have been taking classes 21 of the last 23 years. I took a two year break right after undergrad. With that much time in school I should be able to perform brain surgery or at least a backiotomy.

I wanted to take a picture with the prof when I turned in my test, but decided that was uber lame. So I just took this shot of the last time I plan on seeing the inside of Grise Hall ever again.